Reflecting on an Opportunity

I have always thought of the dream as something that might be attainable, but I did always question how realistic I was being with myself. Even though it is something I’ve been working toward for the past several years, it wasn’t until a very real opportunity presented itself that I really believed that it may happen.

A few months ago, sometime between when I discussed blogging about the dream with my boss and when I declared that everyone needs a dream, I was approached by someone with an amazing opportunity. This friend of a friend had heard about the dream and my professional reputation (which apparently is incredibly healthy), and thought I might be a good match for a position she was hiring for.

She and I had a call to discuss the position and get to know each other better. She didn’t want to subject me to her company’s rigorous interview process if she didn’t think we could work together. I just wanted to learn more. It wasn’t exactly the job I dream about, but it was closer than I thought I could realistically attain.

Not that I hadn’t tried. In January NCSoft had a position posted that I couldn’t resist applying for. Fun QA Manager – They were to manage a team that tested NCSoft games to ensure they were fun. (This by the way is something that Aion needed at the time – I had a few friends give up on it by the time we were level 20 because it was too much of a grind.) I never even received a “thank you for applying but we’re not interested in you” email.

This new opportunity was a project management position with a large company working on some very cool game projects. It wasn’t a company that works with MMOs, but it would have been a great step in the right direction. I polished my resume and sent it in. After a couple of weeks I received a call from a recruiter. We talked for about half an hour about the position and my experience, and I was offered an interview.

I was overwhelmed by excitement and anxiety. The interview process was reputed to be grueling. If I was offered the position I would have a two-hour commute (each way) until my husband and I moved. If we moved half way in between our workplaces, we’d each have an hour commute (and we’d need a second car). Should I get an apartment in the city and go home on the weekends? If I did, would our relationship be damaged? Was this the right move for me, or should I hold out for something a little closer to the dream job? Was my PM experience going to come back quickly enough to make me effective? Could I handle a career change while I was still in school?

The next day I received a date for my interview (it would basically be an all day process), and a bunch of information to read through and forms to fill out before my interview date. I spent the evening completing my paperwork, and when I was almost done a new email arrived from the recruiter.

The position had been canceled.

After more than a month of building anticipation, it was like having a rug pulled out from under me. No… a carpet, a magic carpet soaring at 30,000 feet. I plummeted back to reality.

Realistically, I would have been surprised if I was offered the job. I was as disappointed about not getting to go through the intense interview process as I was about losing the opportunity.

Business politics are what they are, and maybe it is for the best. I’ll continue to watch for my next step toward the dream. In the mean time, it is reassuring and motivating to know that I got as far as I did in the process.

One comment

  1. Cheer up! …

    For me, it was worse… I HAD my dream job… I was a Level Designer in a big city, 3h (by car) away from home. I moved to the city. First own appartement. Job and people were great!
    After 9 months the company went bancrupt. I had no salary in the last months and I had to move back to my parents…

    So don’t be disappointed… A door gets closed and a new one will open.
    Maybe not now, but in the future…

    The only secret to be successfull is: Never give up!


    Greetings from Germany!
    Benjamin Spang

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